Every now and then, work requires me to step out of the office and immerse myself in social media of a different kind, the original kind: actual human interaction.

Well, it’s not like I don’t get that in the office. I love the people in the office—my type of people! But I think I’m social awkward at heart and an introvert so going out of the office really, sometimes, tests me.

I’m always exhausted after. Yes, I suppose you may blame that on lack of physical activity, but there are also factors that contribute to exhaustion!

1. The Commute - Let’s just say that I was all too, too glad when I graduated from college. It meant, for a while, goodbye to commuting! I sorely dislike it. I can do it, but I don’t like it.

2. The Gastos (expense) - everything to the MRT cards to food expense to other transportation expenses. Looking at my wallet at the end of the day bums me out like no other. HAHA! I’m such a stinge.

3. The “What do I do if” Thoughts - recently, stepping out of the office meant live, on-location social media activities. Lack of net connection, signal, lags, low battery, etc. harras me to no end. No. End. But things usually work out. So there’s at least that.

4. The “It’s in WHERE???” Factor - aside from the commute, the destination itself is a mindful. They’re normally places I would never, ever go to unless I had to.

Regardless, that’s the way things are. And I am exhausted (and I don’t mean exhausted of the work—just the energy spent during that day is GONE). I’m now only stating facts, not complaints.

I hardly have the energy to think of what to add to this. End.

Nope, I’m not talking about that time of the month. I’m talking about that unavoidable trench that I step into every month at work—which means that I have to claw and climb my way back out and move on.

It’s a routine and I expect it. Much to my credit (and allow me some pride here), I have been vastly improving with my work ethic and (ahem) attitude towards it. Oh hey, what do you know, I wasn’t even sarcastic about that!

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not very a.) good at hiding my emotions and b.) dealing with said emotions behind a screen. Somehow, they show and dealing with them is, similarly, on public display.

But as I said, I really believe I’m getting better. How do I know? Well, I’ve come up with a system.

My body and mind know when it’s coming. When it does, I research ahead. This is one of those things that you just cannot cram, because well cramming has seldom gotten me superb results (though I get the job done). 

3-4 days before the Day of Reckoning Submission the Deadline, I slap myself into The Mode. The Mode is Mishie-speak for, I-zone-everyone-out-and-I-actually-focus-for-once-in-my-life.

And how do you know I’m in The Mode? Well, for one, I stop prohibiting myself from anything. If I want a venti iced green tea latte with soy milk and hazelnut syrup, I’m getting it. If I want to chow down a cup-full of Chinese fried rice and two servings of ulam, you can’t stop me. I need and will give myself anything everything to power me through The Mode.

Also, I dress the eff up. Nothing says “I’M GONNA CONQUER YOU B*****” like dressing to kill succeed. 

I used to not be able to take in any sort of human contact during these 3-4 days. If you tried, you’d have to be prepared to be glared at or be snubbed because, yes, I was pissed and I’m not a.) good at hiding my emotions.

But now. BUT NOW. You can. I’ll even joke around, get up, chat, go down and buy something with you at the convenience store if you invited me to. For me, that is an improvement.

But of course there is the fact that I have just FORBADE myself to hate anything now. ANYTHING. Well, not so much not to hate anything, but to stop myself from expressing it. Sure, work is still work and I’m not obliged to like it, but giving myself that opportunity and outlet to express my dislike, well, only fans the flames of my dislike—if that made any sense.

That’s why I haven’t showed up recently. Yes, work. I’d like to say that I would have found a way, but it was that time of the month.